leslieism

A few days ago I posted a blog that influenced an immediate text from a friend of mine, “You doin’ okay sweet pea?”.  I laughed, however I was irritated, obviously the humor in my blog was surmounted by seeming spite.  I explained that I was just trying to be funny, about a serious situation…..not necessarily my situation, a generalization about a life scenario that affects many people.  I suppose I did put a personal spin on it……enter  the spite.  I quickly unpublished my blog because I try to choose words carefully when involving my ex-husband……I try…..sometimes spite likes to say a friendly hello.

Yesterday I got a message via facebook, with an opinion about my aforementioned blog…..apparently anytime I publish a blog, people in my blog group, get an e-mail…..regardless if unpublished.  Now, being me, all I read in the message was, “blah, blah, blah…….questioning my character and my karma….blah, blah,blah”.  This, well, this riled me up in a bad way……and when I get riled up in a bad way it is usually because there is some truth involved.

I deliberately and childishly made a public (well, let’s be clear, more like semi-public, I mean how many people really read this stuff of mine) jab at my ex, that is the truth of the matter.  Upon further investigation I found that I’m angry, caused by fear and sadness and disappointment.  These are my problems…..not his.  HOWEVER, I write about life and some of my writing will involve my marriage, divorce and my ex.  I never write in hopes of gaining sympathy or God forbid, pity.  I write for my healing process.  I write so I can laugh.  I would never want any of my readers to judge my ex-husband poorly.  I am a little biased and you cannot judge a person you have never met…..except for people like Ted Bundy, I never met the guy but I feel perfectly okay with judging him poorly.

Speaking of poorly, I am one broke mutha…literally, because I’m an actual mutha.  When our power gets shut off I just tell my daughter we are playing, “Little House on the Prairie” or “Quakers”.  If we get evicted I have a tarp set aside to play the game, “Third World Country”.

Oh dear, that makes me laugh every time I write it.  That was the acceptable and humorous portion of a paragraph I wanted to share from the Voldemort(the name we never speak of……Harry Potter…keep up folks, read a book, watch a movie) blog.

Hmmmm.  The moral of my story today??  No matter how much I am hurting, I must try to live and write by, grace and dignity. By making grace and dignity my bff’s, I allow serenity into my soul and integrity into my heart.

Speaking of grace and dignity, I must end this rant so I may watch one of my “I need inspiration” movies…..”Cinderella Man”,  and hopefully learn the correct way to cook socks for breakfast.

**Disclaimer:  I do in fact have electricity and I will not be feeding my daughter socks for breakfast.  Loosen up and don’t take life so seriously.