leslieism

Does it mean a person is crazy if they have a tea party by themselves? With a little porcelain tea set? Holding their pinky finger out as they sip from the mini tea cup? Speaking with a British accent and exclaiming their dismay over the absence of scones and biscotti. Rapidly changing seats and assuming a new persona…so as to carry on a conversation?Arising conflict ensues between the tea party-ers as they choose not to accept the circumstances developed by the dearth(lack of supply)damn scones and biscotti. Friend requesting the Queen on facebook? Having it catered by Taco Bell?

• Mimes are funny. I accidentally hit one with my car today and he mimed being hurt really bad. I had a good chuckle and sped off. Silly mime.
• Do you know what I miss the most about being married? Having someone……there for me………..to have my back, or check it rather…… for zits.

• Soooo if you are high as a kite and I ask you for your Albertson’s preferred card or phone number…..do not tell me to get a pen and write your number down. And when you don’t have enough change to purchase your snickers…..so I kick down the rest,just to get you outta my line…..do not say “so uh you gonna go out with me or what?” Are you kidding me? I just helped you buy your snickers….where ya gonna take me? The Dollar Store? …..so um no.But here is an idea…..take your snickers to the movies….do more drugs first……set it in the seat next to you…..and by the end of the movie…..I promise that candybar will look like the hottest chick in the place. NOW, GET OUT OF MY LINE!