leslieism

I left class on Friday feeling….well, let me describe it.  As I walked to my car, I sighed very loudly, yawned very loudly, hiccuped, burped (hopefully not very loudly), muttered something like “why hello Mr. Red Bull”(in my version of a James Bond voice)and some sort of moan/groan thing…very loudly, when I realized I did all of that out loud…..I laughed very loudly.  Then I quickly looked around to see if there was anybody hiding in the trees which surround the perimeter of the parking lot, I mean, how embarrassing. But then I laughed again as I became conscious to the fact that if anyone was hiding in the trees watching me…well, they were weirder than I am.  

I arrived home, dragged myself and my backpack to my front door and saw I had a present….from the landlord.  I reenacted my previous showing of “Exhausted and Overwhelmed”, starring, Leslie McCue…..minus the hiccup and burp.  I realize he is just doing his job but c’mon landlord people, if I had the money would it be necessary to even give me a 3-day ‘pay or vacate’ notice?  Do you think that because you gave me 3 days, my money tree is just gonna start sprouting? Again, he is just doing what his bosses have told him to do, we are not going to get evicted because he knows my situation and the money will be here any day.  

Here is the part where I begin to crack slightly however.  I start to cry a tad and my brain tells me that this is NOT FAIR!  WHY ME?  POOR ME!  LIFE IS HARD!

Oh for the love of Pete, that thinking and that attitude is not going to pay the rent.  What can I do about all this?  Well, I would love to blame my ex-husband but I can’t because I have no control over him,therefore I must remove him from my thought process…no solution to be found with him.  Okay, I’m what’s left.

This past year has been difficult to say the least and I thought I had been humbled enough.  WOW……”I thought I had been humbled enough”…..no one should ever believe that.  I am actually more ashamed that I just had that thought, then sharing with you the fact that I received an eviction notice.

I had so much to write tonight because I’ve been trying to figure this one out all weekend.  However all my thoughts are moot at this point (not gonna lie, anytime I can use the word ‘moot’ I smile…what an odd little word) due to one profound sentence I typed out for the world to see, “I thought I had been humbled enough”.  If you are my friend and I ever say that sentence in your presence…..please feel free to punch me in the face and put me in my place.

Humbled. Check.  Ego.  Not my best friend.  Well, my internal debate over selling the only nice thing I own has now been settled.  Tomorrow I put my beautiful bedroom set on the list de Craig’s.  I mean seriously, my king size, 5-piece bedroom set, wouldn’t exactly fit in my neon….and I want us to be comfortable in our new home.  (Just kidding.  But not really. But yes I am).

It just dawned on me that I don’t really filter when I blog and that could possibly affect my chances of ever gettin’ a man.  Oh dear Lord, that is the last thing I need…could you imagine?  But shoot, when I am ready for one…. I may have to order a guy from Russia that has never read a ‘leslieism’ that’s for sure.  Do I have to be a communist to order a Russian groom?  Ahh, moot point, I’ll convert him.