leslieism

Having serious talks in new relationships can be scary. Last night something came up and pretty much needed to be discussed intensly. I was not entirely thrilled with all that was said, but I appreciated the honesty. We seem to have a lot of honesty between us and by building this trust, we are able to communicate openly. So, it would appear that we do not share the same tastes in ice-creams and baked goods. In fact, we disagree frequently on the deliciousness factor in foods.

As I sat there, inhaling my cinnamon bun Ben & Jerry’s, my brain snapped into it’s autistic mode…..I analyzed a situation, combined with a series of my life situations, in .05 seconds. This could honestly be a gift, my autism, but I haven’t mastered it’s magical powers yet and I just get confused a lot and have a hard time speaking in complete sentences.

I peered at him over the top of my pint o’ goodness, questioning what we could possibly have in common…..how could this relationship work out if we are constantly disputing food choices. Especially when cherry pie is clearly the best pie. And sour cream, I mean, really? I pretty much drink sour cream.

Well into my .05 second analysis, I realized that food might have been the only thing my ex-husband and I had in common. Evidently food does not create a lasting and meaningful bond between two people. Or sex. Imagine a relationship is an art project….. like food, sex is not the hot glue binding a relationship….sex should be the glitter….morals, values, honesty and integrity, these are the hot glue.

Nearing the end of my .05 secs I concluded as such…..different likes in food is the “small stuff” and if the “big stuff” shares a commonality, well, you just might have a good thing going. You just might have name brand hot glue…..and good hot glue holds gobs of glitter. We definitely share an appreciation for glitter and I think we might be using some Louis Viutton glue.

As he sucks off the ice-cream that dripped on his shirt….I smile…..and appreciate the small stuff that we do have in common……and then spoon up the ice-cream off my shirt.

“I can’t stop doing math equations in my head and I just want to sleep”, says my weepy daughter.  I muffled my laughter and held back my ‘Rain man’ remark (to her face) and tried to grasp what was really happening.   I concluded there was a combo platter of (lack of) sleep delirium and emotional confusion from a decision I made.

Today I question my choice, kind of, sorta,……enough to feel like a good parent anyways.  I am pleased to announce that I did the right thing.  I think.

Well that’s that. As long as we think out scenarios, weigh pros and cons, do the best we can……we are still gonna screw up.  The fact that we care about our choices for our children…..well, I don’t know, maybe we screw up less?

Here’s the deal: As long as we make decisions with our children’s best interest at heart…..we can make decisions with our best interest at heart also….and at the same time, intertwined if you will. I will, and I did. 

I’m excited about benefiting from this experience.  I may have a “card counter” on my hands and I have no problem abusing her new talent.  I thought it out and yep, very comfortable with that decision.