leslieism

I’ve been watching an abundance of “Bones” lately, filling an emptiness with the weird and gross.  Unfortunately, television execs believe cutesy couples are actually the “empty-fillers” desired by the public.  So they put three on the show. Right on. 
So one half of one of the couples contracted a mutated strain of botulism, major bio hazard, in critical need of an anti-serum, blah blah blah.  His lady, the head coroner, gave a dramatic speech over his comatose body…concluding with a “I love him”.
Ugh. A moment of cynicism smacked me in the face as I pictured the guy waking up…so happy to be alive….his lady all happy…..and then he’s like “oh hey, btw, I don’t like you like that”…and then I chuckled all cynically.
Then I scratched my leg and was like, whoa! When is the last time I shaved?  Starting to remember why being single is so awesome(said in a sing song voice).  And honestly, when I’m wearing shorts, all curled up on the couch…with myself…and my hairy legs….I give em a little rub…and for like 2 seconds it’s like watching a movie with a man friend. 
The next simpleton that tries to hit on me at work is gonna get a ba-bam, when I fling out my fleecy leg or flash an armpit.
Cynical episode over.