leslieism

Tonight I go to bed with an elated heart.  I prayed to make the right choice today and I was willing to accept God’s help.  I feel at peace and I can only describe it as a heart that has welcomed forgiveness and a will that has been turned over to God. 

I let go of my need to control the outcome, no matter how good my intentions….my ego has played supreme ruler…over destiny. 

Do not misunderstand me, I will protect my child at all costs and stay in control…as necessary…as warranted…and God willing.

For now, I let go.  For now, I feel a new hope.  My heart hurts less today than it has in two years.  That, to me, is what hope looks like.  That, to me, is God’s love. 

I do not know what the future holds and I don’t want to know.  What I do know…is enough for today.  I will continue to pray for forgiveness, courage, and hope.

I celebrated my triumph over fear today, quietly and alone….another victory in itself.  Oh, and ice-cream, triumph celebration did indeed involve a dairy delight.